desperate pork in oriental disguise

Things started to get desperate when I decided to do something more of an extraordinary without planning an appropriate shopping first. So there I was with:

• - one tenderloin of pork
  
• - handful of small mushrooms
  
• - cherry tomatoes
  
• - two carrots
  
• - red onion
  
• - asparagus
  

The whole original idea was pretty much about tossing it all into a wok, adding some rice and cooking until bored. And that’s why I went desperate.

This called for some desperate measures.

First, I’ve decided to marinade my pork a little bit in something that turned out to be a slightly Frankenstein-ish all-oriental sauce. I’ve added:

• - honey
  
• - mustard (the best one is from IKEA food shop!)
  
• - sweet chilli sauce
  
• - tiny bit of Heinz ketchup
  
• - soy sauce
  
• - a bit of Vegeta seasoning
  
• - a bit of Maggi
  
• - a bit of Morrisons’ thai wok oil
  
• - a bit of Morrisons’ sechuan wok oil
  
• - ...and maybe some things I can’t remember anymore
  

Anyway, the ingredients for this marinade were absolutely incidental (happened to be passing by when I was frantically roaming round the kitchen in hopeless search for inspiration) and should only be treated as guidance. After all it’s just one of those dishes that happen to happen out of nowhere and which we can never do again because we couldn’t be bothered to write down what we’ve had used in a first place. So here it is, a first timer. 

So, as for preparation, nothing easier than that. First, cut the meat into very thin slices or little stripes and mix well with the marinade, then set aside. Pretend you’ve lost interest, act inconspicuous, let it rest in pieces. It’ll fry happier.

Now chop the onion into recognisable bits, half- or just slice carrot(s), quarter the mushrooms and chop asparagus (say into 3-4 cm bits). Into the wok the whole lot, with a little bit of added water and under a cover. On a rather little fire. Start preparing (or prepare it earlier altogether) your rice. Time to go back to the pork (the longer it marinades the better but there’s no need to go over the top either :) All it needs is to be put in a little bit of flour and deep (or half deep) fried in some nice oil i.e. grape seed or sunflower. Avoid the nasty regular vegetable oil, the one which can be used after cooking for fuelling diesel engines. It may be a wonderful way of recycling but somehow does not wet my appetite much. 

Oh, and it gives you cancer as well.

Once fried, drain the meat on a paper kitchen towel and go back to you rice and veg. When they cooked but still crunchy add halved cherry tomatoes (plum as good, or just normal ones chopped) and cook for another 3-5 min and then stir in the rice. Keep on low fire until sure that everything is well mixed and hot, turn the heat off and add the pork (which should be covered in a nice, crunchy batter). Mix and serve. I’ve added as well a handful of wild rocket leaves and some fresh coriander but that’s (as everything else in this dish) is purely optional. Just remember not to cook your greens and fresh herbs since in heat they lose flavour faster than Gordon Ramsay patience.

At which point I must warn you – it’s not a looker, but then again it’s quick, not expensive, dead simple and quite not bad after all :)

(I mean the dish, not Gordon...)

Bon apetito!